Cordelia Chase Quotes

"Are you nuts? You think I would tell people that I spent the whole evening with you?" ~~*When She Was Bad.

"Buffy? You're really campaigning for 'Bitch Of The Year,' aren't you?" ~~*When She Was Bad.

"Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it! Embrace the pain. Spank your inner moppet. Whatever. But get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now." ~~*When She Was Bad.

"Eeeew! Why is it that every conversation you have has the word 'corpse' in it?" ~~*Some Assembly Required.

"Darn, I have cheerleading practise tonight. Boy, I wish I knew you were gonna be digging up dead people sooner. I would've cancelled." ~~*Some Assembly Required.

"You're starting to look a little slagged. What, are you just skipping foundation entirely now?" ~~*School Hard.

"Whoa! There's mine. Sven. Isn't he lunchable?" ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.

"One hundred percent Swedish. One hundred percent gorgeous. One hundred percent staying at my house!" ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.

"Her? Oh, she's not my friend---She's more like a sister, really, we're that close." ~~*Reptile Boy.

"Great! I'll drive. Oh, Buffy, it's just like we're sisters. . .With really different hair!" ~~*Reptile Boy.

"Doctor Debbi says when a man is speaking, you make serious eye contact and you really, really, listen. And you laugh at everyhting he says. Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha." ~~*Reptile Boy.

"You'll go to college someday Xander, I just know your pizza delivery career will take you so many exciting places." ~~*Reptile Boy.

"You guys. . .I just. . .hate you guys. The weirdest things always happen when you're around." ~~*Reptile Boy.

"Buffy, I love the hair. It just screams 'Street Urchin'" ~~*Halloween.

"Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating. I'm the Slayer." ~~*Halloween.

"Oh, he's a Vampire. Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs?" ~~*Halloween.

"That's nice, Willow, and you went mental when?" ~~*Halloween.

Cordy: "Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show-up-for-my-date-or-even-call, gonna be there?"
Oz: "Yeah, you know, he's just going by 'Devon' now." ~~*Halloween.

"I'm gonna be in therapy 'til I'm thirty " ~~*The Dark Age.

"This is what happens when you have school on Saturday." ~~*The Dark Age.

"I aspire to help my fellow man. 'Check. As long he's not smelly, dirty, or somehing gross." ~~*What's My Line Part One.

"Do you have anything in raisin? I know you wouldn't think so, but I'm both a winter and a summer." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

Cordy: "He looked normal!"
Xander: "What, does it take an arrow with the word 'Assassin' over his head?" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

Cordy: "i'd rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face."
Xander: "Then go. I'm not stopping you."
Cordy: "I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself."
Xander: "Not just any girl. You're special." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

"Feels like home. . .If it's the fifties and you're a psycho." ~~*Ted.

"It' an egg, Buffy. It doesn't emote." ~~*Bad Eggs.

"Well, I'm chips and dips girl." ~~*Surprise.

"Is anybody else gonna have cake?" ~~*Surprise.

"This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's joined his side, the Slayer's a basket case, I'd say we've hit bottom." ~~*innocence.

"Pieces? We get the pieces. Our jobs sucks!" ~~*Innocence.

"I think you splashed on just a little too much 'Obsession for Dorks'." ~~*Phases.

"Are you going, like, Stalker Boy on me now?" ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"Okay, what now? You don't like my locker combination?" ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"Damn it, Xander, what's going on? Who died and made you Elvis?" ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"And you keep your mom-aged mitts off my boy friend--former!" ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"Do you know what you are, Harmony? You're a sheep." ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"I'll do what I want to do, wear what I want to wear and date who the hell I want to date. . .no matter how lame he is." ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

Cordelia: "Oh God! I invited him in my car once. That means he can come into my car. . .whenever he wants."
Xander: "Yep, you're doomed to havin' to give him and his Vamp pals a lift wherever they feel like it, and those guys never chip in for gas." ~~*Passion.

"Why doesn't he just slit her throat, or strangle her while she's sleeping, or cut her heart out? What? I'm trying to help?" ~~*Passion.

"Until then, you and your mother are welcome to ride around with me in my car." ~~*Passion.

"We're all concerned about how gross you look." ~~*Killed By Death.

"Oh, right, your obsession with protecting Buffy. Have I told you how attractive that's not?" ~~*Killed By Death.

"Am I the only one that's noticed that thing?" ~~*Killed By Death.

"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." ~~*Killed By Death.

"Let's go, Tact Guy." ~~*Killed By Death.

"Boy, there's a demon for everything!" ~~*Killed By Death.

"Oh, ewwww! Ohhh, you should see this thing. The way it does its thing, I mean, ewwww! Why do I let you guys drag me into this stuff?" ~~*Killed By Death.

"You expect me to wear that thing? It smells like Grandpa breath." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

"I shall totally confront and expel all evil." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

"Xander, I know you take pride in being the voice of the common wuss. . ." ~~*Go Fish.

"How about because you're a tiny, impotent nazi, with a bug up his butt the size of an emu." ~~*Becoming Part One.

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