"You're a Vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Is that an offensive term? Should I say 'Undead American'?" ~~*When She Was Bad.
"So, some of your cousins are in town for a family barbeque, and we're all on the menu." ~~*When She Was Bad.
"Cordelia, your mouth is open. Sound is coming from it. This is never good." ~~*When She Was Bad.
"Come on, kick my ass." ~~*When She Was Bad.
"Hi guys, miss me?" ~~*When She Was Bad.
Buffy:
"Well that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm a Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron." ~~*When She Was Bad.
Xander: "No"
Buffy: "Don't you wish I would?" ~~*When She Was Bad.
"Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or yodel." ~~*Some Assembly Required.
"Gee, I wish people wouldn't leave open graves laying around like this." ~~*Some Assembly Required.
"Add it up, and it all spells, Duh!" ~~*Some Assembly required.
"Oh, je stink." ~~*School Hard.
"And getting kicked out of school is laughs a-plenty?" ~~*School Hard.
"I wasn't going to use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?"
~~*Inca Mummy Girl.
"What kind of girl travels with a mummified corpse and doesn't even pack lipstick?" ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.
"One day, I'm gonna live in a town where evil curses are just generally ruled out without even saying." ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.
"Forty minutes late. Welcome to America." ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.
"And the little slice of my life that still belongs to me---from, I don't know, seven to seven-oh-five in the morning, can I do what I want to then?" ~~*Reptile Boy.
"I think you don't know what it's like to be sixteen and a girl and the Slayer." ~~*Reptile Boy.
"Or what it's like to have to stake Vampires when you're having fuzzy feelings toward one." ~~*Reptile Boy.
"Digging on the undead doesn't exactly do wonders for your social life." ~~*Reptile Boy.
"Who needs a social life when they've got their very own Hellmouth." ~~*Reptile Boy.
"Mmm. History stumps me, I have a hard enough time remembering what happened last week." ~~*Reptile Boy.
"Gosh, I'd love to sign up, but I recently developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and can tragically no longer hold a flashlight." ~~*Halloween.
"So, how come Halloween is such a big yawner? I mean, do the demons just hate how commercial it's become?" ~~*Halloween.
"What did Mrs. Davis give you?"
*Kids hold out toothbrushes*
"She must be stopped" ~~*Halloween.
Xander: "She must be right. We must have some kind of Amnesia."
Buffy: "I don't know what that is, but I'm certain I don't have it. I bathe quite often." ~~*Halloween.
"I was brought up a proper lady. I wasn't meant to understand things. I'm just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me. Possibly a baron." ~~*Halloween.
"But, I don't want to go with you. I like the man with the musket! Do you have a musket?" ~~*Halloween.
"Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out. Who to love, or hate. . .who to trust. It's just, like the more I know, the more confused I get." ~~*Lie To Me.
Buffy: "Lie to me."
Giles: "Yes. It's terribly simple. The good guys are stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or blach hats and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody else lives happily ever after."
Buffy: "Liar." ~~*Lie To Me.
"You're going to die, and the only hope you have surviving this is to get out of this pit right now, and my God, could you have a dorkier outfit?" ~~*Lie To Me.
"You know what the worst thing is? I was saving up for some very important shoes, and now I have to blow my entire allowance to get this stupid tattoo removed." ~~*The Dark Age.
Angel: "Buffy. You scared me."
Buffy: "Now you know what it feels like, Stealth Guy." ~~*What's My Line Part One.
"You know why? I am immature. I'm a teen, I have yet to mature!" ~~*What's My Line Part One.
"Unless hell freezes over and every vamp in Sunnydale puts in for early retirement, I'd say my future is pretty much a non-issue." ~~*What's My Line Part One.
"Does 'Rest in Peace' have no sanctity to you people? Oh. I forgot, you're not people." ~~*What's My Line Part One.
"One down, one. . .gone?" ~~*What's My Line Part One.
"The Cliff Notes version? I want a normal life." ~~*What's My Line Part One.
"No, Angel, it's not you. You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me." ~~*What's My Line Part One.
"Okay, then a regular kid and her craddle-robbin', Creature Of The Night boyfriend." ~~*What's My Line Part One.
Buffy: "The Hellmouth presents 'Dead Guy On Ice!' Not exactly the evening we were aiming for."
Angel: "You're in danger. You know what the ring means?"
Buffy: "That I just killed a SuperBowl Champ?" ~~*What's My Line Part One.
"Note to self: Religion, freaky." ~~*What's My Line Part One.
"So your saying these vampires went through all this hassle for your basic decoder ring?" ~~*What's My Line Part One.
"Thanks for the wake-up, but I'll stick with my clock radio." ~~*What's My Line Part One.
Kendra: "Who are you?"
Buffy: "Who am I? You attacked me! Who the hell are you?"
Kendra: "I'm Kendra. . .the Vampire Slayer!" ~~*What's My Line Part One.
Kendra: "Identify yourself!"
Buffy: "Back off Pink Ranger!" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
"You can attack me. You can send assassins after me. That's fine. But NOBODY messes with my boyfriend!" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Buffy: "Okay, one more time. You're the who?!"
Kendra: "I'm the Slayer!" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Buffy: "Could you stop with the Slayer thing. I'm the damn Slayer!"
Kendra: "Nonsense. There is but one, and I am she." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Kendra: "They call me Kendra. I have no last name sir."
Buffy: "Can you say 'stuck in the 80's?" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Kendra: "She died?"
Buffy: "Just a little." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
"Look, no offense, I really don't mean this personally, but I'm not dead and frankly, having you around creeps me out just a little bit." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Kendra: "I thought you were a Vampire."
Buffy: "Oh! A swing and miss for the rookie." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
"Doesn't anyone just say 'Hello' where you come from?" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
"That's really good for you, Percepto Girl, but we're not gonna get anything out of him if he's, oh, say, unconscious." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
"Yeah, it's okay Kendra killed the bad lamp." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Buffy: "I don't take orders. I do things my way."
Kendra: "No wonder you died." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
"Wait. Handbook? What Handbook?" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Buffy: "Get a load of the She-Giles."
Willow: "Creepy." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Buffy: "Maybe after this thing with Spike and the Assassins is over, I could say, 'Kendra you slay. I'm going to DisneyLand'."
Willow: "But. . .not forever; right?"
Buffy: "No, DisneyLand would get boring after a few months." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Kendra: "You tink he might help us?"
Buffy: "I tink we might make him." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Kendra: "Just hit him, Buffy!"
Buffy: "She likes to hit." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Kendra: "That's me favorite shirt! That's me only shirt!"
Buffy: "You are now expressing anger." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.
Angel: "Kiss me."
Buffy: "Finally, something I wanna do." ~~*Ted.
"Vampires. Here, Vampires." ~~*Ted.
"Vampires are creeps." ~~*Ted.
"I was so hoping you'd do that." ~~*Ted.
"Okay, that's it, I give up! Do I have to sound an air horn every time I walk into a room? I mean, what is it with grown-ups these days?" ~~*Ted.
"Yeah, and I'm gonna be too young to wear it 'til I'm too old to wear it." ~~*Bad Eggs.
"Why don't you just go to MuuMuus 'R' Us?" ~~*Bad Eggs.
"Oh bliss. Mall food." ~~*Bad Eggs.
"I can't take care of things! I killed my Giga Pet. Literally. I sat on it and it broke." ~~*Bad Eggs.
"I figured there were all sorts of things Vampires can't do. You know, like. . .work for the telephone company, or volunteer for the Red Cross, or. . .have little Vampires." ~~*Bad Eggs.
Buffy: "I'm going to have a big bump."
Xander: "Uh, I'm going to have a peninsula, here." ~~*Bad Eggs.
"I dreamt. . .I dreamt that Giles and I opened an office supply warehouse in Vegas." ~~*Surprise.
"You think he's too old 'cause he's a senoir? Please, my boyfriend, had a bicentennial." ~~*Surprise.
"'Cause heaven knows there aren't enough books in the library." ~~*Surprise.
"Yeah. Fun at Willow's. You know, she's a fun machine." ~~*Innocence.
"Also, not the prettiest man in town." ~~*Innocence.
"I'll handle smurf." ~~*Innocence.
"Best present ever." ~~*Innocence.
"Spoil my fun." ~~*Phases.
"Who could resist Sunnydale's own House of Hormones." ~~*Phases.
"How about you let the door hit you in the ass on the way out of town?" ~~*Phases.
"No, I feel fine. I mean, the world's spinning a little bit, but I like it. It's like a ride." ~~*Killed By Death.
"Shhh, hospital zone, no singing." ~~*Killed By Death.
"Believe me, I'm not that grown-up." ~~*Killed By Death.
"It's too bad Angel didn't put me in the hospital sooner. That's something I never thought I'd hear myself say." ~~*Killed By Death.
"I thought I might try violence." ~~*Killed By Death.
"I'm not seeing anybody. . .ever. . .again, actually." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.
"Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend? The Vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, and now my boyfriend's gone forever and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will be my choice of dentures." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.
"He should be doing sixty years in prison, breaking rocks, and making special friends with Rosco the weight lifter." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.
Buffy: "You're the only one. The only one I could talk too."
Angel: "Gosh, Buff. . .That's really pathetic." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.
"Boy, I was just going to go with big and wet." ~~*Go Fish.
"See, it's fun to hang out with me." ~~*Go Fish.
"Obviously, my sex appeal is on the fritz today." ~~*Go Fish.
Xander: "I'm undercover!"
Buffy: "You're not under much." ~~*Go Fish.
"Meanwhile, I'm breaking my nails everyday battling the forces of evil, and my French teacher can't even remember my name." ~~*Go Fish.
"No, I don't expect him to. But that's usually when he does." ~~*Becoming Part One.
"You know polite people call before they jump out of the bushes, and attack you." ~~*Becoming Part One.
"And you're sure this was the tomb of Alfalfa?" ~~*Becoming Part One.
"So that would be the literal kind of 'sucked into Hell'. Neat." ~~*Becoming Part One.
"I'll wing it. Of course, if we go to Hell by then, I won't have to take 'em. Or maybe I'll be taking them forever." ~~*Becoming Part One.
Angel: "I wasn't sure you'd come."
Buffy: "After your immolation-o-gram? Come on, I had to show. Shouldn't you be out destroying the world right now, pulling the sword out of Al Franken or whatever his name is?" ~~*Becoming Part One.
"This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight?" ~~*Becoming Part One.
"Yeah, I think Mr. Pointy will have something to say about that." ~~*Becoming Part One.
Kendra: "I call him . . .Mr Pointy."
Buffy: "Remind me to get you a stuffed animal." ~~*Becoming Part One.
"The whole earth may be sucked into hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big hoe?! Well, let me take this opportunity to not care!!" ~~*Becoming Part Two.
"You stupid little troll. You have no idea." ~~*Becoming Part Two.
"Okay, that was about equal parts protecting me and copping a feel, right?" ~~*Becoming Part Two.
"I've had a really bad day, okay? If you have information worth hearing, then I am grateful for it. If you're gonna crack jokes, then i'm gonna pull out your rib cage, and wear it as a hat." ~~*Becoming Part Two.
"What are you, just some immortal demon sent down to even the score between good and evil?" ~~*Becoming Part Two.
"Then why don't you try getting off your immortal ass and fighting evil once in a while?" ~~*Becoming Part Two.
"Mom. . .I'm a Vampire Slayer." ~~*Becoming Part Two.
"I'm a Slayer, not a postal worker." ~~*Becoming Part Two.
"What? You thought I was guilty? Geez, feelin' the love in this room." ~~*Becoming Part Two.
"Do. . .do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching T.V. or gossiping about boys or. . God, even studying! But I have to save the world. . .again." ~~*Becoming Part Two.
"It's a present for Angel." ~~*Becoming Part Two.
Angel: "My boy Alcathla here is about to wake up. You're going to Hell."
Buffy: "Save me a seat." ~~*Becoming Part Two.